listen to your inner critic....the curious woman told me as we discussed why women around 35 years old have heightened cortisol levels and what it does to you
"i mean, really listen to her....and then make her have a conversation with raven....with your wild child. "
i had explained to her that i knew what my inner struggle with quitting smoking was....that girl was the free rebel....the defiant apathetic tough and wild travelling nomad. now that girl is a momma and a manager and she's got bills and maintenance on life in general....
her wings, at the moment, are clipped...in a way...
and so i think i draw to smoking (even tho i've recently quit for a year...almost.) because it makes me feel as though i've not lost touch with the free side of myself
i'm so tired of that battle...that nicotine mental blender. NEVER START SMOKING> that way you never have to battle why you should quit and why you want to smoke and struggle with it for like...4000 years...
i believe at some point i shot off 1000 words a second explaining why i'm frustrated with life at the moment and how i already know what i need to fix it but it's like i'm too tired to draw on the energy to put it into motion.
that sounds ridiculous. but it's true. it's exhausting to try to suddenly change yourself....your sleeping routine, your free time routing, your bad habits and good ones all rolled up into one giant spiritual makeover. laughs
anyway i thought that idea was actually clever. catch yourself in mid critizing thought, and stop yourself, and make yourself (in your mind of course, otherwise people might petition to lock you up) your free self.....take over that situation.
it's actually hard to do...catch myself in the beginning of a negative or judging thought....i always realize it 5 minutes after i've been pondering what a lame ass i am that i can never ever ever catch up with the laundry
if i can manage to train my brain to make this event actually happen, critic vs. raven, i will be sure to take note as i'm sure some funny things will be said...thought...lol whatever. you get the drift.
it's a meditative practice i say. envisioning for theraputic benefit takes discipline you know. ever tried it?
if you could stop your inner critic as it began......
who would you make it talk to?
i gotta go. enough blathering.
be well wanderers
raven
Friday, March 2, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
way to go britney!
you know, it's actually pretty funny that everyone is all up in arms about britney spears
who already took on the not that innocent stance once before. if she'd been punk or ska or rock or metal and she shaved her head people wouldn't have given it a second glance
but because she's always seen as so hot.....she's got the blond locks and big smile and bod and all that right? i mean, i don't think she's hot. i think she's sorta primadonna just like every irritating concieted popular but plain girl i remember in high school
just a blonde really.
but that's the stereotype that is so hot. so, it's a tragedy that she got sick of dealing with it? hell no! I say go britney.....shave that head bald!!!! she's just getting rid of society's bullshit hold on her life and privacy.
so much i could give a fuck what you think that she would in public totally freak out all of the media and her fans and everybody.
i think it's healthy. i think it's a catharsis and everybody spends way too much frigging time wondering what's wrong with a pop princess stressing single momma.
leave her alone already. it's all you paparazzi that's screwing with her mind
i hate the media.....i believe i've mentioned.
ramble on gypsies
raven
who already took on the not that innocent stance once before. if she'd been punk or ska or rock or metal and she shaved her head people wouldn't have given it a second glance
but because she's always seen as so hot.....she's got the blond locks and big smile and bod and all that right? i mean, i don't think she's hot. i think she's sorta primadonna just like every irritating concieted popular but plain girl i remember in high school
just a blonde really.
but that's the stereotype that is so hot. so, it's a tragedy that she got sick of dealing with it? hell no! I say go britney.....shave that head bald!!!! she's just getting rid of society's bullshit hold on her life and privacy.
so much i could give a fuck what you think that she would in public totally freak out all of the media and her fans and everybody.
i think it's healthy. i think it's a catharsis and everybody spends way too much frigging time wondering what's wrong with a pop princess stressing single momma.
leave her alone already. it's all you paparazzi that's screwing with her mind
i hate the media.....i believe i've mentioned.
ramble on gypsies
raven
Saturday, February 10, 2007
paparazzi pie
alllllrightttttttttttt....................
it's official. i suck at posting regularly. but then again......that's my perogative
i was just reading, recently, about brad pitt being mocked and jeered at by the paparazzi as he left to try to reach jolie and family when her mother died
and i've been wanting to say for a lonnnnnng time and waiting for the perfect ridiculous paparazzi story to say:
how the hell do we let that....whole...phenomenon...happen? not as a society or a nation, but as a world? why the hell is it ok for the paparazzi to follow people and taunt and harass them like they do? you'd think there'd be a law...i thought we had privacy laws here
and based on the apparant ability to stalk people as much as you'd like if you have a camera in hand and they are in the news....there must be some skewed freedom of speech and press law there that gives them the power to act like that uninhibited...which i think is pathetic
not that i'm famous. and i don't really want to be. rich would be good...famous seems like a right pain in the ass...to be followed all the time
but the thing i've been wanting to say for the longest time when i read about what appear to be decent albeit rich and/or famous people have to go through...
if i was as affluent and wealthy as some of you i would hire my own staff of personal papparazzi and researches to find the people who perpetually stalk others for profit. find them and their families and kids and schools and allll the little skeletons hiding in their closets and publicize the hell out of it. follow them around to every walmart and mcdonalds and flea market they stop at.....follow them around til they are anxious and suspicious and constantly looking over their shoulders.
i wonder if their own privacy was compromised if they wouldn't decide it wasn't really worth it to torture others this way
i would also hire someone to follow kat gigantis around and take pictures of every fashoin faux pas she makes and scrutinize her til she cries. just because she's so mean.
ok i wouldn't really make her cry. but i'd fuck with her brain. alot.
it's just not right to make fun of people just because you can. i wonder if that's what msn put in their job description. 'must be a mean catty bitch with a snakes tounge to apply" why judge people like she does? i get so sick of people being rude. makes me want to be rude. and when i'm rude...watch out
liquitiiiitch
i'm actually surprised noone has done this yet. if i was rich i'd do it for someone being stalked just to see if it works
shame i'm not rich eh?
i think so too
be well wanderers
raven xx
it's official. i suck at posting regularly. but then again......that's my perogative
i was just reading, recently, about brad pitt being mocked and jeered at by the paparazzi as he left to try to reach jolie and family when her mother died
and i've been wanting to say for a lonnnnnng time and waiting for the perfect ridiculous paparazzi story to say:
how the hell do we let that....whole...phenomenon...happen? not as a society or a nation, but as a world? why the hell is it ok for the paparazzi to follow people and taunt and harass them like they do? you'd think there'd be a law...i thought we had privacy laws here
and based on the apparant ability to stalk people as much as you'd like if you have a camera in hand and they are in the news....there must be some skewed freedom of speech and press law there that gives them the power to act like that uninhibited...which i think is pathetic
not that i'm famous. and i don't really want to be. rich would be good...famous seems like a right pain in the ass...to be followed all the time
but the thing i've been wanting to say for the longest time when i read about what appear to be decent albeit rich and/or famous people have to go through...
if i was as affluent and wealthy as some of you i would hire my own staff of personal papparazzi and researches to find the people who perpetually stalk others for profit. find them and their families and kids and schools and allll the little skeletons hiding in their closets and publicize the hell out of it. follow them around to every walmart and mcdonalds and flea market they stop at.....follow them around til they are anxious and suspicious and constantly looking over their shoulders.
i wonder if their own privacy was compromised if they wouldn't decide it wasn't really worth it to torture others this way
i would also hire someone to follow kat gigantis around and take pictures of every fashoin faux pas she makes and scrutinize her til she cries. just because she's so mean.
ok i wouldn't really make her cry. but i'd fuck with her brain. alot.
it's just not right to make fun of people just because you can. i wonder if that's what msn put in their job description. 'must be a mean catty bitch with a snakes tounge to apply" why judge people like she does? i get so sick of people being rude. makes me want to be rude. and when i'm rude...watch out
liquitiiiitch
i'm actually surprised noone has done this yet. if i was rich i'd do it for someone being stalked just to see if it works
shame i'm not rich eh?
i think so too
be well wanderers
raven xx
Saturday, January 27, 2007
joys of motherhood
four eleven year old boys and an 8 year old boy with an attitude went with me to a giant trampoline wonderworld for a birthday party free gym jump your heart out for an hour
not to mention a 10 year going on 15 year old girl and a baby and 4000 other parents and kids....
it was peaceful to say the least
but fun....of course...
my inner pirate was completely jaded that i couldn't participate in the ropes and swings and bottomless pits of foam and giant trampolines
i then felt as if i was privy to totally secret ruffian boy conversation as i played driver and we headed back to the mountains.......while they took turns making jokes about farts and hating little brothers and who had the best tale of pain so far in their relatively small lives
my man tells me that it was total bonding going on there...i shouldn't have even been listening, but hey, i couldn't help it. it was a fun little insight into how my kid reacts and talks with other kids when they are just bein boys instead of seeing them in our little family environment
plus all chicks wonder what the hell boys talk about. it's just funny on another level, at this age, to hear them and wonder if adult men talk about the same stuff
anyway....drive up the hill get to grocery store...get all said boys to carry multitude of groceries and bags inside wherein much mud was tracked onto something that resembles the white carpet that was in here when we moved in
get bombarded by 10 year old girl who wants a friend to also stay the night because the house is 'infested with boys' and no one will play with her. (i broke the rough news to her that tonight was about her brother and that at least it wasn't like they had her tied up somewhere throwing things at her.) ((she didn't care for that analogy)) asked for time to comtemplate the extra friend coming over and was pestered every 8 seconds until i finally said no at which point much squealing and crying ensued and was not sympathized with in the least.
said 10 year old stomps down hall, slams door, wakes baby.....boys in basement shooting laser guns and hollering at the racing video game....10 year old comes out and tries to put on the sugar and is informed that it won't help, as she was already rude and it can't be abided so more crying ensues.....
go to give the 11 yr olds a break from the little brother and playfully carry him up the stairs to get him out of the playroom and he snags a lip on my hip and hollers as loud 'why did you have to hurt me?!!?!?!?!?" as if i meant to....then more crying ensues....
i sit in my chair in front of the computer trying to breath slow...
and right now...as i try to type...said 10 year old is again doing the crying voice thing about how her brother always gets what he wants and whyyyyy can't she even watch a movie with them
now wait a minute...i thought your life was so terrible because of all the boys in the house which is what caused the first bout of crying to get a friend over here?
and now, i will go order pizza and feed 8 million children and hope that there the drama will subside and look to bedtime to roll around
no doubt as soon as i sleep the baby will wake
bein a momma has it's perks but i'm tellin you what..................
oi.
be well wanderers
thanks for reading me vent
raven
not to mention a 10 year going on 15 year old girl and a baby and 4000 other parents and kids....
it was peaceful to say the least
but fun....of course...
my inner pirate was completely jaded that i couldn't participate in the ropes and swings and bottomless pits of foam and giant trampolines
i then felt as if i was privy to totally secret ruffian boy conversation as i played driver and we headed back to the mountains.......while they took turns making jokes about farts and hating little brothers and who had the best tale of pain so far in their relatively small lives
my man tells me that it was total bonding going on there...i shouldn't have even been listening, but hey, i couldn't help it. it was a fun little insight into how my kid reacts and talks with other kids when they are just bein boys instead of seeing them in our little family environment
plus all chicks wonder what the hell boys talk about. it's just funny on another level, at this age, to hear them and wonder if adult men talk about the same stuff
anyway....drive up the hill get to grocery store...get all said boys to carry multitude of groceries and bags inside wherein much mud was tracked onto something that resembles the white carpet that was in here when we moved in
get bombarded by 10 year old girl who wants a friend to also stay the night because the house is 'infested with boys' and no one will play with her. (i broke the rough news to her that tonight was about her brother and that at least it wasn't like they had her tied up somewhere throwing things at her.) ((she didn't care for that analogy)) asked for time to comtemplate the extra friend coming over and was pestered every 8 seconds until i finally said no at which point much squealing and crying ensued and was not sympathized with in the least.
said 10 year old stomps down hall, slams door, wakes baby.....boys in basement shooting laser guns and hollering at the racing video game....10 year old comes out and tries to put on the sugar and is informed that it won't help, as she was already rude and it can't be abided so more crying ensues.....
go to give the 11 yr olds a break from the little brother and playfully carry him up the stairs to get him out of the playroom and he snags a lip on my hip and hollers as loud 'why did you have to hurt me?!!?!?!?!?" as if i meant to....then more crying ensues....
i sit in my chair in front of the computer trying to breath slow...
and right now...as i try to type...said 10 year old is again doing the crying voice thing about how her brother always gets what he wants and whyyyyy can't she even watch a movie with them
now wait a minute...i thought your life was so terrible because of all the boys in the house which is what caused the first bout of crying to get a friend over here?
and now, i will go order pizza and feed 8 million children and hope that there the drama will subside and look to bedtime to roll around
no doubt as soon as i sleep the baby will wake
bein a momma has it's perks but i'm tellin you what..................
oi.
be well wanderers
thanks for reading me vent
raven
Sunday, January 21, 2007
free the wild girl
FREE Ro Cham H'pnheing
what the hell is wrong with people anyway? this chick, for whatever reason, was lost (or found) to the forest. jungle forest, actually, cambodia, to be exact. read this article?
18 years ago she vanished. she's somehow, by animal or sasquatch or extreme tribal or self sufficient means, managed to get by all on her own for this long
but some people decided she needed captured. that people living that wild and animalistic, (stealing food was the catalyst) (granted, that's a good reason....but still....) needed to be contained and controlled and regulated and brought to some sort of reason
she's tried to escape
her eyes they say are sad
what a surprise.
she's captive. lost from the wild that has governed her for the majority of her life. around those who callously could give a shit about what makes her happy or comfortable
(how long have cultures done this to each other? do we never learn from our own stupid behaviour?)
and expect her to conform and learn and communicate and let all the wild go
how dare they...really? and how stupid is it to try to keep her captive? what is the point of that, exactly. let her go. what is it hurting anyone? she obviously wants that and is old enough to be allowed to do as she chooses. if she doesn't want to conform.....doesn't feel rescued...you're killing her spirit.
let her go
why do so many people feel the need to 'save' people who were doing just find before their lives were interrupted?
odd
poor woman...i feel such compassion for her. if i could, i'd open the door to her cage one night and smile as she reentered her place of being
whatchoothink
be well wanderers
raven
what the hell is wrong with people anyway? this chick, for whatever reason, was lost (or found) to the forest. jungle forest, actually, cambodia, to be exact. read this article?
18 years ago she vanished. she's somehow, by animal or sasquatch or extreme tribal or self sufficient means, managed to get by all on her own for this long
but some people decided she needed captured. that people living that wild and animalistic, (stealing food was the catalyst) (granted, that's a good reason....but still....) needed to be contained and controlled and regulated and brought to some sort of reason
she's tried to escape
her eyes they say are sad
what a surprise.
she's captive. lost from the wild that has governed her for the majority of her life. around those who callously could give a shit about what makes her happy or comfortable
(how long have cultures done this to each other? do we never learn from our own stupid behaviour?)
and expect her to conform and learn and communicate and let all the wild go
how dare they...really? and how stupid is it to try to keep her captive? what is the point of that, exactly. let her go. what is it hurting anyone? she obviously wants that and is old enough to be allowed to do as she chooses. if she doesn't want to conform.....doesn't feel rescued...you're killing her spirit.
let her go
why do so many people feel the need to 'save' people who were doing just find before their lives were interrupted?
odd
poor woman...i feel such compassion for her. if i could, i'd open the door to her cage one night and smile as she reentered her place of being
whatchoothink
be well wanderers
raven
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