listen to your inner critic....the curious woman told me as we discussed why women around 35 years old have heightened cortisol levels and what it does to you
"i mean, really listen to her....and then make her have a conversation with raven....with your wild child. "
i had explained to her that i knew what my inner struggle with quitting smoking was....that girl was the free rebel....the defiant apathetic tough and wild travelling nomad. now that girl is a momma and a manager and she's got bills and maintenance on life in general....
her wings, at the moment, are clipped...in a way...
and so i think i draw to smoking (even tho i've recently quit for a year...almost.) because it makes me feel as though i've not lost touch with the free side of myself
i'm so tired of that battle...that nicotine mental blender. NEVER START SMOKING> that way you never have to battle why you should quit and why you want to smoke and struggle with it for like...4000 years...
i believe at some point i shot off 1000 words a second explaining why i'm frustrated with life at the moment and how i already know what i need to fix it but it's like i'm too tired to draw on the energy to put it into motion.
that sounds ridiculous. but it's true. it's exhausting to try to suddenly change yourself....your sleeping routine, your free time routing, your bad habits and good ones all rolled up into one giant spiritual makeover. laughs
anyway i thought that idea was actually clever. catch yourself in mid critizing thought, and stop yourself, and make yourself (in your mind of course, otherwise people might petition to lock you up) your free self.....take over that situation.
it's actually hard to do...catch myself in the beginning of a negative or judging thought....i always realize it 5 minutes after i've been pondering what a lame ass i am that i can never ever ever catch up with the laundry
if i can manage to train my brain to make this event actually happen, critic vs. raven, i will be sure to take note as i'm sure some funny things will be said...thought...lol whatever. you get the drift.
it's a meditative practice i say. envisioning for theraputic benefit takes discipline you know. ever tried it?
if you could stop your inner critic as it began......
who would you make it talk to?
i gotta go. enough blathering.
be well wanderers
raven
