yeah i know

but again, i'm not here for you so stop being so vain

i just read this article about a little 6 yr old girl that died of brain cancer and how, in the last 255 days of her life she managed to hide now 3 containers full of notes of love for her mom, dad, and little sister all over the house....
they say they didn't know she knew she was dying - but obviously she had written these with intent....they are hidden everywhere and done with intent

made me cry:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33505351/ns/today-today_books/

so i've been thinking about the great beyond lately and how life can change in the blink of an eye....and i've decided that is a great idea

not on a morbid i'm doomed trip
but more like....aware of life's fleeting changes and just in chase i would like to hide some notes like that for people in my family

hopefully, they will remain hidden long enough for me to forget i even hid them....or they show up and we laugh about them at my 92nd birthday party...
but if not? maybe someone will get a special smile and laugh and bit of love from beyond that i left tucked somewhere

like that very special, very wise, young girl

be well wanderers
hope all is well in your worlds

raven

i miss writing

you know i read my posts and i think....you are a really cool writer
i mean it! you are! you've got a voice and a command of the language that...in my eyes anyway....is thought provoking and curious and clever

and i think of how i really really MISS writing..and don't know why i don't do it more often

part of it is the whole sheeple theory
i hate that it's a fad
i hate that i care about, now that it's become cool and we are in some sort of invisible blogging popularity contest, whether or not anyone reads or why no one comments. it used to be a journal...now it's an entertainment competition

anyway....enough griping
i miss writing...not bitching

hasta nobirds

laughs

moving is always cathartic don't you think?
you shift everything....everything gets reorganized or cleaned or both
there is an unsettling someone kicked up all the dust around you energy but still you sit somehow...calm...in the middle of the storm
forseeing how it will look in a month rather than the chaos you observe

ever have the feeling like you're totally throwing all the eggs into one basket? that's not totally sturdy or watertight?

yeah...that's me at the moment
i believe in this house...and the lineup of events that had to happen in order for me to achieve it
but still i feel a flux in the works
something i don't yet see.....


wonder what it is

i posted a self portrait this week on etsy.........tired momma
the quote said (and is the basis for my belief system, even if i can't always undertand it)....
change is the only constant

my added thoughts?
receive it and let it go

ah if only it was that simple
my mind swarms with a million new paths..new possiblities...new futures...a better understanding of what's to come....

it's like i get that i was supposed to create people like i am to walk the planet...but my time for myself is coming again in the next few years and i can feel my spirit gearing up for it already

anyone else ever experience this?

be well wanderers

raven xxx

a new day

so it's arrived

barack obama is president of the united states....hope has returned to the downtrodden and struggling

even the rich and solid i think felt a wave of patriotism today...of a common bond and love between the people of OUR nation. all of us as one force.....looking out for and helping one another

it was something else to watch that sea of people waving...rising ....pulling...the energy of their moving arms and smiling faces and voices raised in joy and praise and love for america...and what barack has seemingly brought to us

not only us, i thought, as i watched this. for across the world....there were people watching. governments, hospitals, military, people, poor and rich alike.....watching america re-evolve

that had to have been hard for bush to watch...........knowing that barack will succeed where he failed. in being a people's president. that he is already, less than an hour on the official job..more loved that he may have been his whole presidency

bush was not my favorite person during the last eight years....but he did what he could. and what he thought was right.
anyway i think he meant well overall....so to hear everyone booing and singing hey hey hey...good bye...as he walked out kind of sucked

i winced for him and even in my frustration with him i felt for him and was proud of his ability to walk out upon that crowd of tens of thousands of people with pride and hold his head high

what i took with me....more than anything and for the first time
is a better feeling for the stuff we are made of and why people choose america...as obama put it

But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old.

HARD WORK
HONESTY
COURAGE
FAIRPLAY
TOLERANCE
CURIOSITY
LOYALTY
PATRIOTISM

these things i will post on my wall to remind me
to remind and teach my children

this is why i call myself an american
and why we will survive

because not only are we built of the best stuff...but we are the best stuff from all over the world

we combine our uniqueness and our talents and knowledge and wisdom ...HERE..in this melting pot

our diversity only makes us stronger and that much more able to affect the world

so good luck to us all

and i close with love to my countrymen and the world and our new president

be well nomads
to yourself and others..

blackbird xxxx

sign of the times...focus on what's right, instead of what's wrong

hello to anyone lurking around today

i am posting today a message i just put in the forums in my beloved site that began as a discussion about the government and how much everyone is struggling financially and what the stress is doing to all of us

do you all see......can you feel it
the tension in the air...the sense that something might snap at any second
whether it's you or the post office guy or your mom?

we're tearing each other apart and we need to stop...and look at it from another angle. we need to look at each other and say..here, this is what i have, this is what i can do...what can i do for you to help you today?

i have a friend who is a goddess of giving. when she is in her worst places...where you feel like you've no choice and no power...
she looks around and finds one thing she CAN do.

she has no money coming in, no work, but by god she can get her house immaculately clean and give me 3 hours to myself without my smallest member of my herd.


do THAT. today. make it a point. begin this weekend with something you can do. ok...i can't do this.....but i CAN do this.

and read what i wrote in the thread about loving each other
it's important whether you think it's lame or not.

************

oh you guys..this thread is so packed full of emotion and pain. i'm not a group hugger type o gal but i was just overwhelmed by the feeling as i read all of these pages that i wish i could just wrap my arms around all of us

let's not turn on each other in all of this

i just realized...my friends and i have been joking that everyone..from work to family to message boards to the world...seems to be pms'ing …and we’ve been musing about what the hell is going on with people...
this is it!! *seems like a stupid aha moment…but has anyone else been going …DAMN why’s everybody so snarky lately?* the tension from this whole situation and it's world wide trickle down has the vibe of the planet all wacked out

and here we all are...scared, frustrated, angry, struggling, trying to put on a positive face but just under the surface we're raw and ready to scrap and yell and not listen..or hear each other

fow is right...the gov't and the banks and the bigshots got us in this place. now we're all screwed up and it's literally affected the whole planet's economy and energy and they are (many of them) still sitting pretty while we scramble

we need to love each other and lock arms and get ourselves outta this mess because they sure as hell aren't going to. And remember it’s not just the Americans ---I have friends in Holland and the uk watching and experiencing the same.

now i understand...what my friend was saying how by 2010 we will need to be able to relearn how to be self sufficient and be able to survive in a 10 - 20 mile radius off of our own resources. we will have to all help each other get by. it's already starting

love each other *hears kum baya in the background* we the people, the human race, need to actually look out for each other for real for awhile…go easy on each other. Speak more gently…see with kinder eyes

i just had to get help from the govt. this week...but i look forward to my lease being up in a couple of months...downsizing my rent and living space and making serious vegetable garden. think about getting a chicken or two. talk to the dude up the road that sells meat. two of my friends and i talked about a large property here in town with 5 small old cabins on it and how communal living maybe isn't so far fetched. we've both been laid off in the last month and we have 4 kids, one of them hasn't been able to find work for 3 months and the other just had her work reduced to 3 days a week.

I had to get help for Christmas dinner…is it hard to post this? You bet your ass. I’m proud and tough and I work hard. But you know what I did? I stayed there for hours and unloaded and loaded cars for other people needing help. I watched teachers and parents dropping off food and gifts…watched the 6 women buzz around that community cupboard and move and shake our little worlds….(I love you cindy) and a friend and I offered to drive boxes of food to the elderly if they didn’t have enough people to drive.
I helped as I needed help and they balanced each other. I loved the people there and they loved me…the positive energy in there was amazing…not guilt..not shame….just…let’s help each other get through this

Damn
I’ve gone on long enough. Sorry to have been so long winded
If I offended someone somehow with this post I didn’t mean to
I was just overwhelmed with emotion and wanted to make some sort of plea
Even it’s it’s cheese ball sounding

Thanks for reading though
I’m gonna go shower now and try, again, to shake it off and restart. To make somebody laugh. To create something…to tell people I love them
Go have a great day…

(((((Hugs))))

************

be well wanderers

raven xxx