what to do

i should really go to sleep

but it's always at the witching hour...or there abouts that i feel somehow compelled

to write....or emote...or ponder

i wish i could type more quietly
i suppose there are fancier keyboards out there that allow you to type quietly in the middle of the night when you should be sleeping

laughs

so the question of the evening is.....
are the ones who put it all on the line the ones who always make it? no i don't think that's the case. i'm sure someone somewhere could point out a ton of people who are incredibly talented and gave it everything they had and didn't 'make it'....

so how do you know when to jump off with both feet?
and i don't mean some little embankment...i'm talking careeing yourself, potentially, off of a 50 foot cliff...

shaking it all up...all the stability you now know.........trying to have faith in yourself and understand if the time is now...or if you simply have a ceaseless brain and the time can be any time you choose it to be...

are there not windows of missed opportunity?

one of my dearest friends on the planet said this weekend something that has been haunting me since...

if you think about something every day.....it eats at you every day....aren't you supposed to do something about it?

right?

she said all suggestively looking at me straight...
lol
but she's right and i know it and she knows i know it

it's just so hard to jump when you have no real sign or catalyst and you have so many mouths to feed

payin the bills. we all get that one right? but how long do you compromise your spirit and the gifts bestowed on you for a reason? how many will read this will know exactly what i mean?

i am at such a crux. i want to throw caution to the wind...and yet i haven't the balls

maybe

what to do
wish i had a crystal ball

be well wanderers

raven