the grand internal debate

wow here i am again...i can hardly believe it

still on the giant internal debate
which never actually goes away

all work sucks right? i mean, unless you genuinely love it....work is work.
i saw a woman i met at my brothers wedding last month doing a stand up in new york on you tube...which was cool...she threw everything to the wind and just went for it with being a comedian so it was cool to see her on you tube...

but she made one of the jokes about jobs and work and explaining why your quitting something is so hard to explain...but did it by emoting how often there is "too much job in that job...do you have anything with a little less job in it?" lmao exactly. it's just a job...why do they become so self consuming?

anyway it was great
cool to see someone you know go for it

and do well

like the powers that be really do pay attention and bless you for following the path you were given

sighs

this is not helping my current dilemma heart vs. bills to pay

anyway i keep throwing bits into the wind....perhaps something will come back. or perhaps after 20 yrs i'll look back and think i was a gigantic pussy for not just diving in with both feet

of course i haven't made up my mind so who knows

life is so peculiar. i wonder if before you move on or move up or move down or whatever the case is when my body loses my spirit if you get to look back on your life and see how it all fell and have such clarity

wouldn't be any point unless you got to apply the lessons you could see to the next life though. wonder if there is a next life

well i think i know ...that there is....unmistakably...that we learn from each life until we are allowed to pass in to the next level...

but that's just what my gut says. i don't subscribe to any organized religion

anyway
what's all this about

listen to your gut
follow your heart

try to have faith that the universe will catch you
(note to self)

be well wanderes

raven